Have you heard this one?

[Tennessee Whiskey]

It's Friday night and I thought y'all might like a funny with your favorite adult beverage.

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the midst of the French Revolution the revolting citizens led a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says he would like to face up so he will be looking towards heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.

The drunkard comes to the guillotine next. He also decides to die face up, hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Again, the authorities take this as a sign of divine intervention, and they release the drunkard as well.

Next is the engineer. He, too, decides to die facing up. As they slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, the engineer suddenly says, "Hey, I see what your problem is ..."

Enjoy,
Cletus

[Flyboy Jim]

It's Friday night and I thought y'all might like a funny with your favorite adult beverage.

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the midst of the French Revolution the revolting citizens led a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says he would like to face up so he will be looking towards heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.

The drunkard comes to the guillotine next. He also decides to die face up, hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Again, the authorities take this as a sign of divine intervention, and they release the drunkard as well.

Next is the engineer. He, too, decides to die facing up. As they slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, the engineer suddenly says, "Hey, I see what your problem is ..."

Enjoy,
Cletus

 

Jim

[sshire]

 

[tvoght]

Heard it. But how about this one?

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a Tennesseean were discussing what was the most remarkable technical achievement of all time.

"It was the steam engine". said the ME. "James Watt's invention ushered in the Industrial Revolution and stands as the groundwork for every important achievement since".

"I would say the personal computer". said the EE. "Who would have thought even 40 years ago that today nearly everyone would have the computing power of the world on his desktop?".

"Naw", the Tennesseean offered, "The greatest invention of all was the thermos bottle".

The EE raised an eyebrow, and the ME seemed almost enraged. "The thermos bottle!? How can you say that? All a thermos bottle does is keep HOT things HOT and COLD things COLD!"

"Well yeah", said the Tennesseean, "but how do it know?"

[Tennessee Whiskey]

I have tried to figure it out myself. But knowing that sooner or later whatever made it work would break,  so I bought two and labeled them "hot & cold"   

Cletus

[scc]

Boom boom!       Both made me smile     Thank you gentlemen

[steamer]

Heard it. But how about this one?

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a Tennesseean were discussing what was the most remarkable technical achievement of all time.

"It was the steam engine". said the ME. "James Watt's invention ushered in the Industrial Revolution and stands as the groundwork for every important achievement since".

"I would say the personal computer". said the EE. "Who would have thought even 40 years ago that today nearly everyone would have the computing power of the world on his desktop?".

"Naw", the Tennesseean offered, "The greatest invention of all was the thermos bottle".

The EE raised an eyebrow, and the ME seemed almost enraged. "The thermos bottle!? How can you say that? All a thermos bottle does is keep HOT things HOT and COLD things COLD!"

"Well yeah", said the Tennesseean, "but how do it know?"

 

[Lew Hartswick]

I think the REPLY to the "thermos"  one was the funniest of all.  The Engineer one is so old it had long white whiskers. :-)
   ...lew...

[Walsheng]

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?

John

[Tennessee Whiskey]

 

[mklotz]

Well, since you guys seem to like jokes that were old when the gods were boys, here's one that I think summarizes a lot of the work experiences I had...

 A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted,

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the man, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The man below responded, "You must be a manager."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know."

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

[90LX_Notch]

I got a good laugh out of that one Marv.

-Bob

[Jo]

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. 

[10KPete]

In the Navy we had submarines and targets....

Pete

[Jo]

If it flies it dies, if it sinks they have already done half the job for you 

Jo