Author Topic: Be Sure To Check Curtain Rods Before Using Them  (Read 1470 times)

Offline dsquire

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Be Sure To Check Curtain Rods Before Using Them
« on: August 12, 2012, 08:20:28 AM »


On the first day, the TWA pilot sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods.

He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.

Then, slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

Then the ex (TWA pilot) called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to sign the divorce papers in exchange for having the house.

Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that very day.

He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home . . .

And to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods.


Cheers :)

Good, better, best.
Never let it rest,
'til your good is better,
and your better best

Offline Maryak

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Re: Be Sure To Check Curtain Rods Before Using Them
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2012, 08:43:47 AM »

I loved that story  ;D

This one is a true story.

There was an officer who was a rather arrogant man and treated his cabin steward like dirt.

Said steward finally had enough of the belittling remarks and so.........................

He drilled a hole in the top of this officers cabin lining right next to his bunk.

Into the hole he dropped a few ball bearings.

Next time they were at sea and the ship started to work in the seaway these ball bearings would roll back and forth between the lining and the hull making this terrible rattling noise right next to his head when he was trying to sleep.

Naturally, despite extensive searches for a possible source,  the cause of the noise was never found.

So remember when you make arrogant offensive remarks to people, especially those who cannot effectively respond, it can cause a great deal of angst and become a source of considerable difficulty for yourself.

Best Regards


Если вы у Тетушки были яйца, она была бы Дядюшкой


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Re: Be Sure To Check Curtain Rods Before Using Them
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2012, 10:02:59 AM »

I had the same sort of thing happen to me when I was in the RAF.

Going home one day from work I had terrible rattling from the back end of my car when driving slowly, but it disappeared when I got up to speed.

So on the weekend, I went down to the car club hangar and got the car jacked up to have a look at the rear axle. As I took the hub caps off, out fell half a dozen 1/2" ball bearings.

My mates at work had done it for a joke.

They didn't like it after that, when I wire locked the chains up on their bicycles, they found they could only get half a rev on their cranks before everything locked up solid.