Author Topic: A bit of humor...or real life.  (Read 14157 times)

Offline zeeprogrammer

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A bit of humor...or real life.
« on: November 29, 2012, 03:45:09 AM »
Just got this from my Dad. Authors' names are Anonymous (very prolific people). Enjoy. Hope you hadn't seen it before.

Marv...there's a number of them that make me think of you...3, 4, 13, 20,21.
I'm posting number 11 at work tomorrow.
My friends would associate number 20 with me. As well as 21 and 5.

PARAPROSDOKIANS   (Winston Churchill loved them)   are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
 
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
 
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
 
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
 
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
 
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
 
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
 
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
 
8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
 
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
 
10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.
 
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
 
12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
 
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
 
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
 
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
 
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
 
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
 
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
 
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
 
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
 
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
 
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit, the target.
 
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
 
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
 
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
 
26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.
 
27. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
Carl (aka Zee) Will sometimes respond to 'hey' but never 'hey you'.
"To work. To work."
Zee-Another Thread Trasher.

Offline Don1966

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2012, 04:23:15 AM »
 :ROFL:

Don

Offline steamer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2012, 11:16:24 AM »
Oh there are at least half of those that are ready for work today!

 :lolb:

Dave
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Damned ijjit!

Offline Maryak

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2012, 11:17:53 AM »
Если вы у Тетушки были яйца, она была бы Дядюшкой

Offline BillTodd

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2012, 11:46:34 AM »
Quote
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

That is a gem

I'll add:

28) I used to be conceited, but now I'm perfect
Bill
wy omnibus Latinis taurus stercore?

Offline IanR

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2012, 11:55:34 AM »
 :Lol: Thank you Zee's Dad, and Zee.

Offline black85vette

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2012, 01:25:54 PM »
Those are fun.

Offline mklotz

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2012, 04:55:03 PM »
Those are great.  I particularly like the tomato-fruit one.

My favorites reflect on my respect for my fellow man and my sunny, optimistic outlook on the world.  Here are a few of them...


"You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing?after they have tried everything else." ?Winston Churchill

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." ?Groucho Marx

"A modest man, who has much to be modest about." ?supposedly Winston Churchill, about Clement Attlee

"I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks." ?Emo Philips

"I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat." ?Will Rogers

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Build it and they will complain.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

I hate to say "I told you so" so I am going to shout it really loud.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Never leave till tomorrow what you can immediately forget.

Your argument is sound, just sound, lots of sound.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
---
Regards, Marv


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Offline Admiral_dk

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2012, 10:28:50 PM »
Are you trying to kill me  :lolb:

Offline zeeprogrammer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2012, 10:39:53 PM »
Good stuff Marv.  :ROFL:

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." ?Groucho Marx

That sounds very much like something I'd say.
Carl (aka Zee) Will sometimes respond to 'hey' but never 'hey you'.
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Offline mklotz

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #10 on: November 29, 2012, 11:44:40 PM »
I've always thought it a tragedy that Groucho never had a chance to host the Tonight Show.  Can you just imagine him verbally dissecting some airhead movie star?  The nightly monologue would have been Pulitzer fodder.  Can you imagine him discussing political correctness?
---
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Offline black85vette

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2012, 12:17:29 AM »
I've always thought it a tragedy that Groucho never had a chance to host the Tonight Show.  Can you just imagine him verbally dissecting some airhead movie star?  The nightly monologue would have been Pulitzer fodder.  Can you imagine him discussing political correctness?

Sounds like an opportunity for a short film or short story.   A fictional account of that actually happening.   That would be entertaining and much more interesting than "reality" TV.   Sadly I fear most watchers would miss the point.   Perhaps the "secret word" would always be non-PC to try and get guests to use forbidden terms?

 :naughty:

Offline Mainer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2012, 12:31:44 AM »
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.  -- Groucho Marx

Suppose you have an idiot. And suppose he is a member of Congress.  But I repeat myself.... --- Mark Twain

Offline zeeprogrammer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #13 on: November 30, 2012, 02:51:34 AM »
Suppose you have an idiot. And suppose he is a member of Congress.  But I repeat myself.... --- Mark Twain

 :lolb:
Carl (aka Zee) Will sometimes respond to 'hey' but never 'hey you'.
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Offline Pete49

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #14 on: November 30, 2012, 03:38:59 AM »
Suppose you have an idiot. And suppose he is a member of Congress.  But I repeat myself.... --- Mark Twain
:lolb:  :ROFL: :lolb: Ya owe me a new keyboard Mainer
Pete
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Offline mklotz

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2012, 05:04:03 PM »
Yes, Twain had a dim view of politicians.  In addition to that quote, he wrote:

In the first place God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made
Congress.

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no
distinctively American criminal class except Congress.

A flea can be taught everything a congressman can.



Twain is the hero of every red-blooded pessimist and misanthrope.  Some of his other uplifting gems include:



There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.

In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances,
profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.

I do not like work even when someone else does it.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what
you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved
it.

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

I am not a lawyer and shall always try to do right and good so that God
will not make me one.

Heaven for climate; Hell for society.

Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah didn't miss the
boat.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to
miss it.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
---
Regards, Marv


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Offline zeeprogrammer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2012, 05:40:46 PM »
Those are great Marv. Thanks for that.
Carl (aka Zee) Will sometimes respond to 'hey' but never 'hey you'.
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Offline mklotz

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2012, 06:08:16 PM »
I'm pleased that you liked them.  Quoting Twain seems extra appropriate since today is his birthday.  It's also Churchill's birthday and he was responsible for some other really piquant verbal gems.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

Bernard Shaw once sent two tickets for the opening of his new play, with the invitation:  Bring a friend - if you have one.  Churchill regretted
that he was engaged, and asked for tickets for the second performance:  If there is one.
---
Regards, Marv


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Offline zeeprogrammer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #18 on: January 26, 2013, 03:09:14 PM »
Stumbled across this this morning. Thought it might be interesting to some  ;D


Any argument carried far enough will end up in semantics.
-- Hartz' Law of Rhetoric
Carl (aka Zee) Will sometimes respond to 'hey' but never 'hey you'.
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Zee-Another Thread Trasher.

Offline TerryWerm

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2013, 07:27:38 PM »
"I used to suffer from schizophrenia, but we're just fine now"

"Diplomacy: The art of telling someone where to go in such a way that he looks forward to the trip."
Terry

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Online sco

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #20 on: January 27, 2013, 07:32:04 PM »
How did Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it.
Ars longa, vita brevis.

Offline Alan Haisley

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #21 on: January 27, 2013, 08:24:29 PM »
"When pigs fly!" Pigs have been able to fly for ages. Just pitch one off the top of a building and see. It's the landing they have trouble with.
Alan
Near Raleigh, NC, USA

Offline Maryak

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #22 on: February 18, 2013, 10:18:38 PM »
As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's toss bag. It's the tortoise life for me! 1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat. 3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. 4.. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. I'm retired. Go around me. God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered: 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter. 19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

20. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE..........?????? 
Если вы у Тетушки были яйца, она была бы Дядюшкой

Offline AdeV

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2013, 11:18:11 PM »
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.

Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that’s invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty- five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things.


- All from the pen of the late & much missed Douglas Adams.
Cheers,
Ade
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I'm just a poor old man. I have no time for law-breakers. My legs are grey. My ears are gnarled. My eyes are old and bent.

Offline zeeprogrammer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2013, 11:20:23 PM »
Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that’s invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty- five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things.

- All from the pen of the late & much missed Douglas Adams.

One of the better descriptions of Zee I've come across.
Carl (aka Zee) Will sometimes respond to 'hey' but never 'hey you'.
"To work. To work."
Zee-Another Thread Trasher.

Offline zeeprogrammer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #25 on: February 18, 2013, 11:52:57 PM »
13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

It's gotten to the point that if some one says they're going to call, and I'm left waiting for the call, I take the phone with me and head for the bathroom. 90% success rate.

If I forget the phone, I'll still get a call...but from some robo-machine or other solicitation. Also 90% success rate.

This belongs on the Pet Hates page.
Carl (aka Zee) Will sometimes respond to 'hey' but never 'hey you'.
"To work. To work."
Zee-Another Thread Trasher.

Offline Tennessee Whiskey

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #26 on: February 19, 2013, 12:09:33 AM »
Sad part is the more birthdays we have the more this crap is gonna continue,thank goodness.
I read a report the other day that said it had been now proven that people who have more birthdays live longer. Wonder how much that cost us?

Yo Redneck
Eric

Offline AdeV

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #27 on: February 19, 2013, 12:43:54 AM »
Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that’s invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty- five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things.

- All from the pen of the late & much missed Douglas Adams.

One of the better descriptions of Zee I've come across.

By Zee - do you mean the mathematical programming language called "Z" (that you would pronounce Zee and I would pronounce Zed)? Er, or your good self?

 :insane: <-- couldn't find the confused smiley so went with that one.
Cheers,
Ade
--
I'm just a poor old man. I have no time for law-breakers. My legs are grey. My ears are gnarled. My eyes are old and bent.

Offline zeeprogrammer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #28 on: February 19, 2013, 02:13:21 AM »
AdeV...yes, I was referring to self.
Bit of a French thing I guess. zee this or zee that. My wife goes by 'zeepen'. She's a writer. I stole from her and went for 'zeeprogrammer'. On a different note...what's always struck me is that besides different terms (zero, nil, z, zed)  the English seem to use more adjectives than Americans. I enjoy the language.  ;D

Eric,  as I've gotten older I've come to appreciate more the celebration of my 'unbirthday' per Lewis Caroll (Charles Dodson). I now celebrate this every Friday. It won't be long before I celebrate this everyday.  ;D

But then, we should probably celebrate every day.

Carl (aka Zee) Will sometimes respond to 'hey' but never 'hey you'.
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Online Jo

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #29 on: February 19, 2013, 07:47:48 AM »
A couple more from DA that I find I can’t be without:

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by”

“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

“I'd far rather be happy than right any day.”

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

“You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen.”


And one for you Zee  ;):

“He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”

Jo
Usus est optimum magister

Offline Maryak

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #30 on: February 19, 2013, 10:46:06 AM »
A couple more from DA that I find I can’t be without:

I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
Jo

Reminds me of:

Some are burdened with an inability to listen

Others are burdened with an inability to hear.

Those less fortunate than most fit into both of the above with equal ease.
Если вы у Тетушки были яйца, она была бы Дядюшкой

Offline zeeprogrammer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #31 on: February 19, 2013, 11:37:42 AM »
Thanks Jo.  ;D
Carl (aka Zee) Will sometimes respond to 'hey' but never 'hey you'.
"To work. To work."
Zee-Another Thread Trasher.

Offline AdeV

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #32 on: February 19, 2013, 01:49:21 PM »
Douglas Adams is a rich source of good quotes.... some more:

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

"It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."


"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."
Cheers,
Ade
--
I'm just a poor old man. I have no time for law-breakers. My legs are grey. My ears are gnarled. My eyes are old and bent.

Online Jo

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #33 on: February 19, 2013, 02:09:52 PM »
And a quote that works equally well for our model engines as for one of those excellent products of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation  ;)

"it is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all."

Jo
Usus est optimum magister

Offline zeeprogrammer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #34 on: February 19, 2013, 02:28:15 PM »
Ade.... :lolb: :lolb: :lolb: Those are great.

Jo...that is so true. After that initial sense of achievement I'm often left looking at the project with a 'now what do I do with it?'
Carl (aka Zee) Will sometimes respond to 'hey' but never 'hey you'.
"To work. To work."
Zee-Another Thread Trasher.

Offline Ramon

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #35 on: February 19, 2013, 03:00:50 PM »
As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's toss bag.... etc etc

Bob , what a brilliant ethos - and an excellent follow up on the rest of the post  ;).  Some, "inebriated by the exuberence of their own pomposity", simply don't realise the world is coming gradually to an end - for some of us I fear much sooner than others but in the meantime lets enjoy it - every last bit of it.

I find the only bad thing about retirement is you suddenly realise don't have another lifetime to enjoy it in  :o

Ah well - time for the regimental motto

'Utrinque Paratus'

Regards - Ramon
"I ain't here for the long time but I am here for a good time"
(a very apt phrase - thanks to a well meaning MEM friend)

Online sco

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #36 on: February 19, 2013, 03:35:00 PM »
In a similar vein Wilco Johnson's response to finding out he had cancer - stick with it; <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQjVMr9M7hk" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQjVMr9M7hk</a>
Ars longa, vita brevis.

Offline Ramon

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #37 on: February 19, 2013, 09:31:57 PM »
Oh dear - I think I may have give the wrong impression here Sco.  As far as I'm aware I'm not on my way yet with anything life threatening - just at that age when it suddenly becomes apparent with a great deal of clarity that  there's far less to come than whats already been  ::)

Bob (Maryak's) post just struck a chord.. especially after a year in which my perspective on day to day life has changed considerably - probably totally.

About this time last year I was recovering from a major op on my insides. Before the op it was a worry but all has turned out ok and I guess you could say I'm fully recovered from the trauma.

However what put it all into perspective was the two following incident's - Whilst in hospital a chap a little younger than myself was brought in and placed directly opposite to me. Although mobile he did look extremely unwell. That afternoon whilst he was taken to theatre for assessment I was conversing with his wife across the ward who told me she had defeated bowel cancer some seven years previous. This gave me the positive outlook I was in need of. Her husband returned with the nursing team and when the curtains were drawn back she was positively ashen - her husband had a very short time left indeed. I still can't get that look on his face out of my head. I felt as if in some way I had been reprieved.

Two days before I went in for my op I had a call from a long term friend, an ex work colleague and fellow ME. Sid had had a major stomach op the previous year and a lot of cancer treatment. He had phoned to say that the hospital had just phoned him to tell him he was clear of all cancer. He was very positive and we planned a get together as soon as I was up and running. Just a few weeks later he visited with another friend and we sat enjoying our regular coffee and bacon rolls in the spring sunshine planning what we were going to do in our workshops. Regretably Sid never got back in his and died in August.
 
It isn't until something like this literally smacks you in the face that you (one) begin to realise that life is sooo short that nothing really actually matters that much except being here and enjoying every bit of it. What you want to do or what you plan to do isn't really that relevant if you're unfortunate enough not to be around.

So when Bob says - 'Go round me I'm retired' that's just how I now feel - Someone else's signature says his bones are 'Old and Gnarled - yep I know what he means too because as someone who has always tried to show consideration to others first I'm definitely becoming less tolerant. Is that a bad thing? Who knows? Perhaps I should say "I couldnt give a rat's toss bag" ;D

With luck, I will live up to a comment made to me as a young thiry something by a Diving Medical Doctor   - " Mr Wilson, you are a very fit young man - you will live to be ninety nine. (Yes he did - really)  I remember saying to him - "I'll hold you to that Doctor" and yep I still am.   Hell if I can only get into the workshop for half of that time I've still only got fifteen years - that's not a lot of engines now is it.  :)

As they say in these parts I shall  - 'Jest keep onna troshen boy' ;)

Regards - Ramon  :old:
"I ain't here for the long time but I am here for a good time"
(a very apt phrase - thanks to a well meaning MEM friend)

Offline Tennessee Whiskey

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #38 on: February 19, 2013, 10:37:53 PM »
Folks, the fact is that none of us are leaving here alive. We have the right to make out our to do list in life; however, someone else makes the schedule. I fear that if you put off too much of life till it's more suiting you miss a lot that you may never experience again. However, if you enjoy too much of life too soon then you run the risk of lacking for things you may need in later life ( money, health, brain cells ). There are probably a very few that ever find that perfect balance. After seeing my business blow away, my father narrowly escape serious injury, and my wife survive a car wreck all in the frame of a couple of hours, if whomever is making the schedule will let me have another day, I'm gonna milk it for all I can get out of it. My joy isn't the " project", it's the chance to try it. Now, this is bout as serious as this ol redneck is ever gonna git.

Eric

Offline steamer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #39 on: February 19, 2013, 10:53:37 PM »
When my Best friend of 16 years passed some 2 1/2 years ago...it completely gutted me.    He was 3 months older than I....we had worked together all the time we  knew eachother....some 50,000 hours I figured...we finished eachothers sentences....Colon cancer got him at 46.

I had myself checked out then....good thing as they found precancerous polyps...luckily...they just had to take them out and that was that....if I had waited till I was 50....well...it could have been too late for me too.

My wife and kids are #1 now....the rest is fluff.....if it gets done...it gets done...and otherwise....Wot Bob said!

Dave
« Last Edit: February 19, 2013, 11:01:24 PM by steamer »
"Mister M'Andrew, don't you think steam spoils romance at sea?"
Damned ijjit!

Offline Tennessee Whiskey

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #40 on: February 19, 2013, 11:30:14 PM »
Ok , nuff real life. Y'all hear bout the mole family that lived under the farmer's window? Farmer's wife was cooking breakfast and mama and papa mole stuck their noses up to the hole and papa mole said; I smell bacon, and mama mole said I smell biscuits, and baby mole, stuck below them said; All I smell is mole- asses :lolb: :lolb: :lolb: :ROFL:

Ya gotta laugh
Eric

Offline steamer

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #41 on: February 20, 2013, 01:48:35 AM »
 :lolb:
"Mister M'Andrew, don't you think steam spoils romance at sea?"
Damned ijjit!

Offline Don1966

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #42 on: February 20, 2013, 02:58:13 AM »
Ok , nuff real life. Y'all hear bout the mole family that lived under the farmer's window? Farmer's wife was cooking breakfast and mama and papa mole stuck their noses up to the hole and papa mole said; I smell bacon, and mama mole said I smell biscuits, and baby mole, stuck below them said; All I smell is mole- asses :lolb: :lolb: :lolb: :ROFL:

Ya gotta laugh
Eric


 :lolb:  :lolb:

Don

Offline Ramon

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Re: A bit of humor...or real life.
« Reply #43 on: February 20, 2013, 08:12:20 AM »
....however, someone else makes the schedule.

Exactly what I meant Eric  ;)

I don't intend to be up to my neck in moles ever again  ;D

Love the analogy BTW  :lolb:

Ramon
"I ain't here for the long time but I am here for a good time"
(a very apt phrase - thanks to a well meaning MEM friend)